I take care of 3 very awsome children; Lucas who is now 8, Isabel who is 6, and a girl named Carlijn who is almost 4. I have been their friend and 'nanny' for 3 years and have learnt a lot from being in their company! One day when Lucas was between 6 and 7 years old I had a wonderful discussion with him about love.
It whent something like this:
Aura: where do you feel love? where in your body?
Lucas: (without any hesitation or thought) Here (pointing to his heart).
Aura: yes! and who or what do you feel love for?
Lucas: my mother, father, sisters, cats, friends etc.
Aura: do you ever get angry at any of them? or feel upset with them?
Lucas: yes! often
Aura: what happens to the love then? the love you feel for them? Does it disappear?
Lucas: no, I just forget about it!
Aura: So if you are feeling sad or angry, just in a bad mood in general, where does the love go?
Lucas: no where, just forgotton.
Aura: So, if you find ways to remember that love all the time...
Lucas: I would always be happy!
Aura: Exactly!
Lucas: I love you Aura!
As I said in my response to the comment below, children have a very clear and simple relationship to love and happiness. They are more naturally drawn to this happiness and are easily reminded of it. Having conversations like this is an important part of helping the children become aware of feelings like love and happiness. It helps bring them into that disposition. It is wonderful to have these kind of conversations because it helps both the adult and the child feel happy!
So when I asked a bunch of parents during a workshop I was giving what is love in action? These were their answers:
Telling them ' I love you '
Taking care of them.
Feeding them, making their food.
Giving them physical attention; cuddles, kisses, etc.
Giving them guidance, teaching them the 'ways of the world'.
Playing with them and giving them that kind of attention.
Really listening to what they are saying or trying to say.
And many more.
These are all really good concrete ways to show affection, and love to children.
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What a wonderful conversation, Aura. You have a natural gift for doing this, and I hope you tell about your relationship with kids for a long time to come. I remember you as a child — you were full of light, always, even when you "forgot" love. You always communicated that light, that brightness and osomany people everywhere. I look forward to more posts from you on raising happy children. You should be a fantastic influence for many parents.
ReplyDeletelove,
Fithian
Thank you for your sweet note dear Fithian! If you know of any parents that are in need of this kind of thing, direct them to my site ;-) I will be doing Skype consultations soon with anyone who wants to learn about the fun and simple principles of raising their children.
ReplyDeleteThanks again!
much love to you!
Aura