Thursday, March 18, 2010

Another Sweet Conversation with a 5 Year Old.

Here is another very sweet conversation. This was with Isabel who was 5 at the time.

Aura: What makes you happy?
Isabel a little shy: Sweets, and unwrapping presents.
Aura: Really, that makes you completely happy?
Isabel: Yes
Aura: So, if you had nothing else, only bags full, overflowing full of sweets, and nothing else, no family, friends, teddy bears, nothing else, just sweets, would you be happy?
Isabel: Oh, no,no, that would not be fun at all!
Aura: Well what if you only had mountains full of presents and you could unwrap as many as you wanted for the rest of your life but had no one to play with?
Isabel: Nooo Aura, that would not make me happy at all, playing is the fun part!
Aura: Ok, so, if you only had ONE thing you could have, and nothing else for the rest of your life, what would that be do you think?
Isabel: I don't know
Aura: Well, give it a try.
Isabel thought for quite some time and even suggested a few more things, but we did not come to the conclusion that those things were IT either.
Than Isabel lit up and said: Flowers, I like getting flowers!
When she said this, I knew what she meant, and I knew she needed a little help to express what she meant so I asked her: Why do people give you flowers?
It was as if a light suddenly lit up Isabel's head and she bacame very happy in that moment because she had figured it out: Love!, she said, love is why people give me flowers, it is because they love me!
Aura: Exactly, so what is it then that makes you happy?
Isabel: Love!
Aura: Yes!
Isabel: in here, she said, pointing to her heart
Aura: Yes, so what if you were all alone, and you felt unhappy, would you need someone or something to make you feel happy again?
Isabel: No, she said, cause it is always in my heart!

Is that not astounding? That a child of her age can understand these profound things?
I have had many conversations like this with many different children of different ages and they always come to the same conclusion! That has proved to me that it is indeed true! And speaking to these children helped me understand this better! So, eventhough we have a lot of teaching to do and guidlines to give to our children, we also can learn a great deal from them if we learn how to listen and what questions to ask! Just giving them that kind of attention is already something that makes them feel special and loved.

Try this out with your child and let me know how it goes! Do it in a moment where they have attention and are not doing anything else.

3 comments:

  1. Children really are amazing.

    There was this one time when i was talking with some female family members about things that made me feel angry. My little cousin, Dara (then only 9 years old) was a little disturbed by the angry energy. We have always had a wonderful close relationship. Anyway whilst i was in the midst of angryly voicing my opinion, he suddenly appeared in front of me holding a beautiful flower that he had just picked from a tree. He stood there smiling with love pouring out of him and offered me the flower...Immediately i was bought out of my anger and into a loving place...I felt loved and my anger dissapeared...I will never forget that moment. How that little boy knew how to make me happy, and actually did it. He did love (as you say inthe introduction it is a doing word:)

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  2. That last post was by Demet :)

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  3. Thanks for that very sweet example Demet! That is indeed a wonderful story! much love!

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